CONTAINED

For long I have been complying with the crowd. Being supposedly sensible seems like a perfect cloak, a temperate compromise, for joining chitchats with people, vastly hypocrites as we all are. I fear loneliness indeed while secretly enjoy a reclusive detachment from what surrounds me. I am always held back at parties, soberly seeing people reveling with their indifferent selves and carelessly getting shitfaced and throwing up on others’ laps and tongue kissing strangers to conceal their voidness.

I am by no means misanthropic. While the more I holdback, the more I see this fragile balance within people, containing themselves under a falling paradigm. As we started to realize that obedience is the true form of freedom but not imprisonment, Instagram started to get flooded with “Be water, my friend” with corresponding haters. As incapable as we all are, the eventual collapse of our measured selves is inevitable, and it is emerging.

I am committed to whom I must not be, and that is my anomie. 

2019 - 2021